A Conversation About Our Children And Race
A few months ago, a dear friend of mine, Tara Casagrande – who teaches yoga, meditation, and mindfulness – invited me to a meeting at Alexandria Country Day School to have a conversation about race. Like her, I believe an important part of my yoga and mindfulness practice is helping to heal social issues by doing my own internal work. So I went.
Tara Casagrande peeking out in front; D'Lynn Jacobs, Left; Lisa Cohen (Founder of Open Horizon) Center; Michele Chang; Scott Baytosh.
Over the past five years, I have participated in conversations about race in many other forums, including panel discussions and interviews with activists. I also completed a twelve-week course on race, diversity, and inclusion with a group of Alexandrians, which was incredibly informative and helpful in transforming the way I think about race. Yet, I've never experienced what I did the evening of that meeting. In the past, I had learned about racism largely on an intellectual level; at this meeting, I felt invited to drop into my grief about racism. Why the difference?
This meeting was offered by a non-profit organization called Open Horizon. It was led by Michele Chang, an Asian-American woman, who is the mother of bi-racial twins. Michele initiated a conversation on how to talk about race with our children by sharing her story of navigating racism with her own kids. Maybe it was having our children be the focus of the conversation that allowed me to more easily access my sorrow about racism. It pains me to bring my son into a world where there is still so much hate and misunderstanding between humans.
The approach Michele took made a difference too. She shared her personal story. She held space for others to share theirs. She invited another facilitator, Shari Benites, to open up about her experiences dealing with racism with her bi-racial children. Open Horizon’s executive director, D'Lynn Jacobs, also relayed her experience with racism as a child. We didn't talk about theories or sociology or politics; we shared our personal pain. If you are interested in becoming part of the dialogue, visit Open Horizon to learn more about their Fall 2023 Parents Program: Conversations About Race & Belonging.
I believe that we will never heal racism until we feel the pain we have around it. Racism is like a relational betrayal, but on a societal level. Talking about it from an intellectual standpoint can only take us so far. We have to grieve all that we have lost due to racism. For transformation to happen, we have to grieve how we have participated in it and continue to participate in it. We can't single-handedly change racism worldwide, but we can begin to change it in our Alexandria community. And we can teach our children well.
